The Misunderstood "Alpha Male"

Essentially, this post is just a branch off my last post about a particular subset of romance novels that have taken the reading world by storm in the last year or so.

The post in question can be found HERE. Peruse it, get familiar with it if you like. If you do not care to read it, then I'll paraphrase as best as I can. 

Abusive books, blahblahblah, Young women being misled in the ways of romance, blahblah. I'm appalled that people read these kinds of books and praise them as much as they do when they live unhealthy relationships and know how uncool it is, blahbleeeblooo. Authors using BDSM as a smokescreen for abusive 'heroes' - and I use that term loosely. My hero doesn't need to know my bank account number or need me to sign a contract before we engage in physical activities. - blah. You get the picture.

Yes. I can "blah" myself. I wrote it. :P

Anywho, I've been cruising Goodreads aimlessly. Ya know, because the idea of sleeping is a joke. And I've come to realize that people have been shelving these books as "Alpha Male". 

I don't understand. There's being an Alpha Male and then there's abusing folks. BIG difference to the women who've been on the business end of a fist or verbal rant. But we won't go there. That's a topic of a different sort.

Wait. I'll break it down.

**Alpha male

An alpha male is the top-ranking animal in a social group.

OR

**Human examples

Alpha male can also refer to an aggressive, highly-ranked man in a human group – usually in a business setting.

Alright. I got that. Here's what I'm getting an ear and eye-full of.

**Abuse

Abuse is a term used for the use or treatment of something which causes hurt. Abuse is generally done by another life form. For example, animal abuse is normally done on animals, by humans. Drug or alcohol abuse is the misuse (especially overuse) of drugs or alcohol. Abuse can also occur when somebody of a higher class thinks they are better than another and hurts them to make their status clear.Abuse can be raping, or sexism.

Yep. Sounds about right. Abuse covered by a smokescreen deemed "alpha male".

What I want to know is, in what world do these two terms meet in the middle? 

And will we ever call bullshit on what seems to be the new fad in books? --A.

**Source: Wikipedia.com

I'm Gonna Say What You're Not Supposed To Say...

Okay guys. Come, have a seat and we'll chat for a second. Girl Talk, if you will. Or...just talk if you happen to be of the penile persuasion.

I've stumbled upon something that has apparently been in the making for quite a while now, only topping off with the release of a very popular, NYT's Best Selling Trilogy of books dubbed "mommy porn". And quite frankly, it scares me. I'm sure right off the top of your head, you can just guess what books I'm talking about.

Yes, the Fifty Shades trilogy.

There are a number of books like FS, too many in my opinion, but that isn't what bothers me so much as the women and young women reading these books and idolizing them and aspiring to have love like they do. That bothers me more than anything.

A book called Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire that is also a NYT's, USA - and numerous others- best seller that is also in the same vein as FS.

TIME OUT.

Let us get something clear right here and now. I am in no way bashing these authors, their books or their readers who enjoy them. I am simply stating my opinion. Which, thanks to a fancy dancy sheet of quickly decaying parchment, I can do that freely without fear of persecution. 

Now that we have that out of the way, I will say how disturbed I am by the rash of abusive books on the market today. It just blows my mind that somewhere in the world, there is a young girl reading books like these and thinking that the relationship depicted in the book is something she should want and think is okay. Let's be honest with each other, okay? I'm going to say the thing you're not supposed to say and the thing that no one wants to hear.

Those books are everything that is wrong with the self esteem of young women today. The codependency, low self esteem and abuse they promote is astounding. And the fact that THESE are selling out of stores over THIS, boggles my mind. Yes, they are just books and no, no one should read books for an example of life. And everyone has different taste in books, etc. I mean c'mon. I'm not completely deluded. But it happens. Every day. And I feel like these books are just glorifying and promoting abusive relationships.

HERE is a list on goodreads of the most popular/most read books this week tagged ABUSE. These are some of the highest rated books on goodreads. Most of them have over 30,000 ratings and almost all of them are also in the romance category. Most of which are being read by women ranging between the ages of 15 and 40.

Does no one else see the conflict I have with this? Am I just being a bitch? Have I taken it too far?

I don't know. Which is why I debated for almost two hours with myself on whether or not I wanted to publish this blog post. I know an unhealthy relationship when I see one. I grew up with it in my house, watched my sister live it and was almost in one myself. I know, I know. Sometimes it takes a really bad relationship for people to really see that they don't have to accept it. But I think about all the ways it could go wrong. All the ways the people involved will be scarred and for the rest of their lives. I just...It makes me sad. Because I know it can be avoided.

BUT in this publishing business most don't give a shit. "It's only a book!" is what I hear all too often. And really, at the end of the day, it's what sells and gets on those best seller lists that count, right?

--A.