I've stumbled upon something that has apparently been in the making for quite a while now, only topping off with the release of a very popular, NYT's Best Selling Trilogy of books dubbed "mommy porn". And quite frankly, it scares me. I'm sure right off the top of your head, you can just guess what books I'm talking about.
Yes, the Fifty Shades trilogy.
There are a number of books like FS, too many in my opinion, but that isn't what bothers me so much as the women and young women reading these books and idolizing them and aspiring to have love like they do. That bothers me more than anything.
A book called Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire that is also a NYT's, USA - and numerous others- best seller that is also in the same vein as FS.
TIME OUT.
Let us get something clear right here and now. I am in no way bashing these authors, their books or their readers who enjoy them. I am simply stating my opinion. Which, thanks to a fancy dancy sheet of quickly decaying parchment, I can do that freely without fear of persecution.
Now that we have that out of the way, I will say how disturbed I am by the rash of abusive books on the market today. It just blows my mind that somewhere in the world, there is a young girl reading books like these and thinking that the relationship depicted in the book is something she should want and think is okay. Let's be honest with each other, okay? I'm going to say the thing you're not supposed to say and the thing that no one wants to hear.
Those books are everything that is wrong with the self esteem of young women today. The codependency, low self esteem and abuse they promote is astounding. And the fact that THESE are selling out of stores over THIS, boggles my mind. Yes, they are just books and no, no one should read books for an example of life. And everyone has different taste in books, etc. I mean c'mon. I'm not completely deluded. But it happens. Every day. And I feel like these books are just glorifying and promoting abusive relationships.
HERE is a list on goodreads of the most popular/most read books this week tagged ABUSE. These are some of the highest rated books on goodreads. Most of them have over 30,000 ratings and almost all of them are also in the romance category. Most of which are being read by women ranging between the ages of 15 and 40.
Does no one else see the conflict I have with this? Am I just being a bitch? Have I taken it too far?
I don't know. Which is why I debated for almost two hours with myself on whether or not I wanted to publish this blog post. I know an unhealthy relationship when I see one. I grew up with it in my house, watched my sister live it and was almost in one myself. I know, I know. Sometimes it takes a really bad relationship for people to really see that they don't have to accept it. But I think about all the ways it could go wrong. All the ways the people involved will be scarred and for the rest of their lives. I just...It makes me sad. Because I know it can be avoided.
BUT in this publishing business most don't give a shit. "It's only a book!" is what I hear all too often. And really, at the end of the day, it's what sells and gets on those best seller lists that count, right?
--A.
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I would like to say, in addition to all of what you've said here that BDSM is not about abusive.
ReplyDeleteWhere you've heard 'it's just a book,' I've heard 'it gets people interested in BDSM.' The idea that people are taking any advice on kink from these trash novels is down right disturbing. I unlike you am critiquing the authors.
As a fellow writer you know research is our life blood. Even the most minute level of research by any of these authors would have told them the power is all in the submissive's hands.
The BDSM subculture is about exploring yourself, pushing your limits, but most of all knowing your limits. In light of that I would say these books should be teaching and encouraging self esteem.
I would have to agree. BDSM is not about inflicting pain on your mate just because you can or because you've had a violent childhood. The foundation of BDSM is love. Love for your submissive and respect for their limits and boundaries above all else.
DeleteSo, yes. Thanks for making that point. And I also agree that they should have done more research before publishing. Research can be the critical breaking point of a good book gone bad.